Accept the Mud in Ourselves – How to Deal with Worry, Fear and other Difficult Emotions.

This week I am reading one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings, he uses the beautiful words “Accept the Mud in Ourselves.”

He reminds us that we should not be afraid of worry or fear or anxiety or suffering. We should only be afraid of not knowing how to deal with it.

If we are no longer afraid of being overwhelmed by the feelings we are experiencing, it becomes much easier to deal with painful or strong emotions.

Our mindfulness meditation practice can help bring us to a calm space, affording us relief and a feeling of safety, balance and contentedness.

Mindfulness teaches us how to handle difficult feelings and to see our discontent or unhappiness as a positive thing rather than a scary thing. If we know how to deal with being unhappy, we suffer much less. We always, immediately see unhappiness as a bad thing. But is it? It doesn’t always have to be. It can be our teacher and bring about great transformation.

That is meditation’s true purpose: meditation is not about emptying our head, it's about transforming our mind. We can do that anywhere, even at home. We already have all that we need to practice this.

Thich Nhat Hanh: “When a painful feeling comes up, we often try to suppress it. We don’t feel comfortable when our suffering surfaces, and we want to push it back down or cover it up. But as a mindfulness practitioner, we allow the suffering to surface so we can clearly identify it and embrace it. This will bring transformation and relief. The first thing we have to do is accept the mud in ourselves. When we recognize and accept our difficult feelings and emotions, we begin to feel more at peace. When we see that mud is something that can help us grow, we become less afraid of it.”

When we are struggling with emotions, it is an invitation to tap into our mindfulness practice. Part of our Mindfulness training is the ability to take a look at what is happening inside ourself. In our heart, in our mind. When we do that, there is no longer just the one thing going on: a difficult emotion. Now there are two things, two energies working inside us: The energy of mindfulness and the energy of the difficult emotion.

"The work of mindfulness is first to recognise and then to embrace the emotion with gentleness and compassion. When a painful emotion comes up, we have to be present for it. We shouldn’t run away from it or cover it up with consumption, distraction, or diversion. We should simply recognize it and embrace it, like a mother lovingly embracing a crying baby in her arms.

The mother is mindfulness, and the crying baby is suffering. The mother has the energy of gentleness and love. When the baby is embraced by the mother, it feels comforted and immediately suffers less, even though the mother does not yet know exactly what the problem is. Just the fact that the mother is embracing the baby is enough to help the baby suffer less. We don’t need to know where the suffering is coming from. We just need to embrace it, and that already brings some relief. As our suffering begins to calm down, we know we will get through it.”

When we learn to be gentle with ourself in this way, and practice the energy of mindfulness, we don’t have to be afraid of strong, difficult emotions. Or of feeling overwhelmed by them. Using this kind of mindfulness energy brings us close to the core of our Self. It is the beginning to practicing Self Understanding and Self Compassion. In turn, the ability to look inside our Self with understanding and compassion gives us our super power: the strength to deal with whatever emotions come up. Then we are no longer subject to the vagaries, moods, atmospheres, events that happen around us.

How to begin? The way to start our Mindfulness practice is to tap into our breath. Sit for a few minutes and breathe. Only breathe.

You can do this whenever you feel a surge of strong, painful emotions coming up: just stop what you are doing and take a deep breath.

By keeping our focus on the breath, our mind slows down. Then we start to become aware of the tendency of our mind to move back into the past or move forward into the future. Do you see that worry and fear are simply because we have such wonderful, creative imaginations? We imagine things that might never, ever happen.

By bringing our attention back to the breath, we move our self back into the here and now. We are actually always in the present moment, but we forget that we are. We don’t remember, because our mind moves so quickly.

If you are reading this and are new at this practice, perhaps you feel as if it's too difficult, as if you won’t be able to do this "mindfulness thing". You could start by practicing just for 2 or 3 minutes. It's about the time it takes to brush your teeth. No time at all.

Simply start by remembering to be right where you are now. With your whole body and mind. Be in the moment, as we say. Notice your breath. Notice where you are sitting. Notice smell, sound, taste, sensations on the body, inside the body. Notice how your mind feels. Realise it when your mind is dragging you backwards or forwards, and remember to stay present. Just breathe. Only pay attention to your breath. Then you are present.

Remember: We are always in the present moment, in the here and now. It’s just a question of whether we know it or not.

Make the best of this beautiful Wednesday.

Mx